PERCY!  I don't know whether to laugh or scold you for stomping on your mouse!   Mice certainly create ethical problems, don't they?  They force us to confront them in a very desperate and aggressive fashion and although I don't like being so 'violent', I fear that it's a war that we cannot allow them to win!  For starters, they don't use birth control and my house isn't large enough to accomodate their large families!  hehehe

Last week I went into my attic to get some warmer sweaters to wear and that little mouse did a job on my favorite 'popcorn' sweater.  It's one of those wooly type sweaters with little knit balls all over it.  Anyway, this mouse pulled my balls off the sweater and left them in a neat pile on the floor.  I'm so glad that she's moved out!  I sat there sifting through my sweaters and realized that she didn't seem to find any other ones interesting...just the one that I love so much!  

I had a cat years ago, very much like yours and she would catch the mice and then lay them next to her and go to sleep with them.  I even have pictures of Elsa snuggling with the mice.  She never ate them...just tormented them until they died.

I must agree with your wife that those mice droppings are truly the most digusting annoyances.  I have been exhausted this past month from having to get up every morning and clean and sterilize my countertops and pantry.  I would have to repeat this cleaning ritual every day upon returning home.  I am truly relieved that this ordeal is over.  

Apparently, the south is having a real issue with attic rats now too.  Oh joy.  I suppose i'll be next.  my friend told me, ' Lizzie, these animals come to you because they know you love animals'....gee, I feel so fortunate!  

The most ethical solution is to purchase those haveaheart traps I suppose and then release them.

If only we could all have the discipline and self control to avoid the chocolate like the mice do ( as referenced in your post)....hehehehe

Have a good week!  Lizzie

hi you all..
I finally get to to writing here a bit at least..
so much has been going on for me now here in California!!.. and unfortunately the last several weeks were totally 'crazy', in a 'bad' way unfortunately, like one thing happening after the other..  but now I trust that everything can only get better!.. it has been really hard and difficult for me, and still is kind of right now.. what has been happening,..
I wish much that right now I could write you more about this all in detail, but it would be too long to write everything here right now, even can't look online that long at the moment..
but I can sum up a few things very briefly, so this doesn't include important details or so, but just generally summed up --- I was with a family in San Mateo, since I arrived here in CA in August, they have two girls, twins, they are 4 years old.. and everything has been great, until several weeks ago, when all this began, like one thing happening after the other.... something was for me in December which affected me very much emotionally, has to do with a guy.. and then in January I had a car accident with the girls, but fortunately noone got hurt!!.. and there have been kind of 'communication problems' in some way, and other for me terrible things, with my hostparents and me.. and it has come now that I needed to leave them! -- I am doing this Au Pair year with an agency, so that's good about it, that if you need to change hostfamilies (and also was suprised to hear about some other Au Pairs also more recently who needed to change hostfamilies), that they begin searching for new hostfamily as soon as possible.. well with that also not everything is so 'great', but ok, I really had good support from my Local Childcare Coordinator... so then you still have a two weeks period to stay with the family, and in this time another family needs to be found.. and I even didn't know first where I would go, could have been to another state, anywhere in the USA.. and I was hoping soo much that I could stay in CA!.. and now am at least soo relieved because I found a family in Brentwood, which is east of San Mateo, about 60 miles.. so am even not thaaat far away.. it has been terrible for me, you can imagine, all these situations, have affected me so much emotionally!.. and also, everything has been great with the girls and me, I love them, and they love me!! so it just had more to do with things happening and with the relationship between me and the hostparents, more so the hostmom and me.. so I am so sad that all this happened..
so I arrived  on Saturday with this hostfamily where I am right now in Brentwood.. they have two boys, ages 2 and 5.. so also that is a bigger change for me now, now after the girls, the boys.. and also that they are different ages.. and now everything new for me, new place, new family.. and I had been with the other family for about 5 months!.. and now all this happening.. but I trust, as best as I can, that all is happening for a 'reason'.. so even though I don't know 'why'.. I just feel so 'lost' in somehow now.. so I still need more time to 'heal' from all this happening, and 'digest' this all more..
it would be important that I tell you much more about this, everything in detail, but I can't write that long here at the moment.. and ok, a few things I actually wouldn't just write her publicly, I just thought of.. because everyone else can have access to this forum, so..
so now the last several weeks I even didn't get to get more information about books about Albert Schweitzer or research more here on the internet, or whatever.. but I have been just checking here to our forum whenever I have been able to, and will so of course..
a pity that right now not so much has been going on here recently....
I would like so much to talk with you about so many things, also especially here in the philosophical thread.. and also more specifically about animals too, and well it is all together of course, our lives, us human beings, animals and well you know it, EVERYTHING!!!.... so whenever I get a chance to, I will write more, and hope that I can talk with some of you about this all more.. I mean most of it I have already written right here in this thread also!! everything already written, summed up, about my feelings, thoughts and views, my life also more,..!!...
so would be soo happy if I could talk with you all more about this all!..
ok, so, bye for now you all..
special wave @ Megan (*love you* )
and have been missing you Matt.. - hope you get a chance to come by here and write sometime soon again!..

Percy,
What a story!!  
Albert and I ARE proud of you!!  I think Albert would agree that loss of memory can be a good thing!  Didn't he say once that happiness is nothing more than good health and a bad memory?  
I was just thinking about you and the others here just the other day and realized how I have missed our dialogue these past few months.  

I'm always in a constant state of spiritual awakening anymore and as much as I welcome it and value it and feel blessed by it, I also feel 'alone' in the world much of the time.  

I just had my 47th birthday on the 6th and I received a gift of the book, ' A New Earth' and the CD version the book, written and narrated by Eckhart Tolle.   I HIGHLY recommend it.  

I'm doing well considering that I've survived 8 years of the Bush regime and I'm so looking forward to it's end!  

I must write more often and I will make a conscious decision to do so.  I sincerely hope that everyone here will contribute something/anything more often as I truly do value everyone's thoughts and insight.  I also value the like mindedness of the members here.  It's comforting and inspiring in such a blundted world.

Faen, it's good to hear from you and do stay in touch!  So you're living in OJ Simpson territory, aye?  Sorry to hear of your recent misfortunes.  Hang in there and keep a positive mindset about you and share your thoughts with us anytime.  Too bad we do not live closer and could share a cup of tea.  Perhaps I could be your next host family?  I could always use an assistant!  

In re: to animals and more specifically, animal abuse.  I must confess that I had a moment yesterday where, for the first time, decided that I should own a gun so that I can become a vigilante and shoot everyone who abuses animals.  Of course, I would never actually do such a thing but I do fantasize about such things.   I'm sure that some of you have heard stories about the dog fighting rings in my area ( Virginia) and how the animals are found so abused, so battered, so malnourished.  It's simply sickening and I can't even begin to describe the rage that lives in my heart when I see these animals. But, we must ask ourselves, where does the root of this antisocial behavior reside in our culture that would breed such cruelty.  

Love and Peace, Lizzie

hi you all..
ok so I need to let you know what happened.. again can't write any more details at the moment, and additionally is also of course that I know this is a public forum, so there is much which I would like to tell you for sure, but just wouldn't want that anyone could read it here in the forum..
you know a few weeks ago I really thought it couldn't get any worse than it was.. and now it has  but now I really really think and trust it can not get any worse than what has happened now!!.. now I trust as best, as much as I can, it can only get better!!!..
so, again summed up most briefly.. I got a hostfamily in Florida.. and arrived here on 11th March.. already the first day I came here, I intuitively had very uncomfortable feelings, and even felt a bit 'scared'!.. but I thought as most positive as I could, and did my best with the situation I could..
and I can only tell you, things have NOT gone 'right at all with this family, the local coordinator here, also connected with this program!! :'-(
and it was already terrible, horrible for me since I came here, and then on Thursday I experienced something which was one of the most horrible, terrible situations I have ever experienced in this way!!! :'-(  I can only tell you I have never felt so helpless and scared in this way!!
anyway the situation is now that I leave this hostfamily, which I can think of now as the most positive thing about this all!!!..
so I am in the same situation again as I have been -- am in transition now, and a new hostfamily is being found for me!!.. and I can still stay here with this hostfamily until 10th April.. at least I have the support and understanding for sure from my two former local coordinators in California!!!
I need soo much energy and strength, more than ever!!!..
I trust with all my heart that I will get to a good hostfamily now, with whom I resonate and that everything will be great together with each other!!! I trust that!! I keep focusing on positive thoughts, positive energy!!!! ) as best as I can!!

a request - please let me know if there is anyone of you in Florida, near Tampa, with whom I could possibly meet?.. I don't have any friends here in the area now, so you can imagine additionally to the situation I even feel kind of more 'lost'..

And I want to write here again, to you Megan, thanks so much for being there for me!! and saying as often as I need it, and 'cheering me up', and 'encouraging' me - concerning positive thoughts, energy,..!! *love you*      *hug*

love to you all.. <3
namaste

Irene

first, Percy, thanks so much!!
I need to tell you more in detail, but at the moment is most important that I can write you most briefly summed up -- I am soo relived, soo thankful, just today, like again like 'in the last minute', got matched with a family in Tennessee!! ))
I can't tell you how much I feel so many feelings at once -- now being totally relieved and thankful, but also now soo exhausted, in every way, I guess you can only imagine from all this going on, happening!!.. so, with this happening now, I guess so it somehow is meant to be that I can stay here, and continue being an Au Pair!!...
so I hope so much, that now nothing worse can happen in this way, as it has been happening now.. and that now really really all this 'craziness' is really ending now!!.. all this craziness, that has been going on for me since January!!...
ok well, so I will write to you again as soon as I get to it!..
thank you soo much you all!  
and you know it Megan, thanks SO much to you!!! *love you*
bye for now you all.. talk to you again soon..
much LOVE to you all <3
Irene

hi you all..
I am feeling soo SAD and EXHAUSTED and feel soo much PAIN....
imagine.. on Friday the program director tells me that I will not be rematched with any other hostfamily    
I am so  pissed off at the system with the agency, so angry and so frustrated and so sad how things have happened..  

it was so fast, at the moment I couldn't do anything, I tried everything I could, talking with the program director, also with the other one from CA, said as much as I could concerning the situation, but the bad thing is that I was really 'helpless'..  .. also unfortunately the one coordinator from CA couldn't help me in some way, the program directors are above them in the position..
so imagine, I talked to this program director on Friday, and I couldn't do anything about that she said they would book me a flight on Monday, yesterday!..
I even didn't get the second week of my transition period, so I even didn't expect anything like that happening before 2nd May.. and I got in contact with other people, tried to find hostfamilies by myself, and would have still had a few days time to get in touch with friends and ask them if they knew anything else to do or so.. all this!
I have had a complete emotional breakdown, you can imagine!!!!    
and I am thankful that I have a friend with whom I could talk to a bit at least on Friday also (THANKS SO so much my dear Megan!!! *love you lots, so much!!*)..
so at the moment I was 'helpless', I somehow needed to take this flight.. because although I have heard 'stories' from other au pairs, also from themselves, that some stayed longer also when that happened, and nothing happened with them or so, concerning visa or so.. because this visa when you are with that au pair program is specifically for staying legally in the country when working as an au pair with this agency for a family.. but still I don't have more information about that..
and because of the situation also because I even didn't have any more few days left, to get more information from someone, something like that.. I just knew ok as terrible and painful as this is at the moment, I need to take that flight.. because otherwise if something would have been, I wouldn't have wanted to take that risk, that just if something would have happened, however, and imagine it would have been the WORST for me if something would have been 'illegal' then in some way, and for example imagine if I couldn't come back to the country or so!!..

it is so so PAINFUL.. as if the situation alone concerning this wouldn't be enough, I even didn't get a chance to say bye, bye for now, to my friends.... to still meet with some and say bye for now at least...

I keep focusing on as best as I can now, that I will come back to the USA as soon as I can, that FOR SURE!!!.. so I need to keep thinking about that, no matter what happens here in Austria now.... it all is such a SHOCK for me!!...
at the moment I don't know what can help me, I mean it will be very very hard and difficult now the next several days, or even weeks for sure...
I know at least I can talk to friends through email, chatting, meeting with webcams also with some, talking on the phone!!....

also what is very much pain for me too, I mean that is what makes it mainly even worse for me now, being right now here again in Austria.. is that the situation with my parents.. as I have already told you about.. it is terrible  , between them, and also just our whole family connection, my parents, my brother and me.. there is 'no real' 'true' love between each other.. I mean at least I know that in some way, even if in a 'violent' way somehow my parents do care for me, otherwise they wouldn't want that everything is ok with insurance for me here, that I need to work here in Austria first for a bit at least (unfortunately for me of course, because you know it, how much I know that my home is in the USA!!), and otherwise they wouldn't still support me financially, all this..
but same pain just immediately I arrived here, with them fighting with each other, communication, relationship between them, and my brother and me..
but at least I have the consciousness and awareness of this all and can as best as I can communicate in a nonviolent way.. and just keep focusing on positive thoughts and energy, healing,..!!

I would appreciate it so much if you can please write me back here and/or privately....

please tell me that everything will be ok somehow!!.. that somehow there is a 'reason' now for all this happening, although it is terrible and very painful for me at the moment.....

thank you so so much you all!...
love to you all..... *hug*
Irene

I share many of the same thoughts as Percy.  
When something in my life isn't working, I tend to be very introspective and ask myself what it is that I'm doing that commands the results that I'm getting.  Then I change my mindset and approach the challenge from a different angle to find a solution.  
I'm a firm believer that what happens in my life is necessary for me to become a wiser and more enlightened human being.  I do not perceive most difficult situations as suffering.  Suffering to me, is only a state of discomfort relative to a more comfortable state of being.  So, with that said, I know that in order for me to feel comfortable again, I must change direction.  It's that ' simple'. The challenge is that we need to be brave enough to be honest with ourselves about why we are not allowing ourselves to manifest joy and success.

Humans are creatures of habit.  We allow ourselves to become short sighted because it's easier to do so.  I know people who have done the same job for more than twenty years and they never even liked the job.  They do it because it's all they have ever allowed themselves to manifest.  Maybe their father wanted them to be a doctor, maybe they felt inferior so they chose a prestigious career, maybe they didn't believe that doing what one loves to do should be their job, maybe they didn't think others would approve or that their expertise was not good enough?

I don't know if I wrote about my ovarian cancer on here or not.  First of all, I rarely ever write about this because I don't like to 'see' or imagine myself as diseased and I hate the ' C' word.  But, let me share something with you about how our state of being affects our physical health.
For years I was in a horrible marriage, it was pure torture and I felt as though I was a prisoner.  I couldn't see any way out.  I couldn't imagine being free to make my own mistakes and manifest my own success. I was an artist and scientist and musician and my creativity as well as most of my brain function was gone, I couldn't even notice my own breath.   I was a walking corpse.  Then, in 2005, I got the news- ovarian cancer. It was a shock to say the least and the long and short of it was that I knew that I was essentially spiritually dead at that point so the only thing for me to lose was my physical body.  But my dear friend and doctor said to me, ' liz, a woman's ovary is her center of creation, it is her source of life and I think that you are allowing yourself to be stifled and not live your passion and I think your ovary is telling you that unles you pursue your passion , you will die".  At first I thought, yeah, such frufru.  But, what did I have to lose? SO, I decided that if I was going to die, so be it but before I died, I had to learn to play fiddle, get to the Arctic and I had to pursue my passion of medicine.  So, I bought a fiddle and I enrolled in school ( I'm still trying to get to the Arctic before it melts away) Within 5 months, my medical exams were miraculously clear ( without any chemo or radiation) There was no sign of tumor.  I wasn't having any pain in my lower back, I was feeling productive, alive, and welcomed the new challenges in my life.  My doctor and I were amazed but she seemed to know all along that somehow my body would heal itself once I healed my spirit.  
I guess my point is that when we ignore our passion, we are ignoring our spirit and our bodies cry out to us.  Additionally, we can see what's happening to our spirit by noticing what is happening in our lives.  What we experience in our lives on a daily basis is reflective of what we are enduring inside.  If angry people seem to be in my presence, then I know that I'm eduding a negative energy that attracts them and I must examine the source of that negativity and resolve it in order to change my environment.  If my home or office is in chaos, then my spirit is as well.
I count my blessings each day.  I'm alive, I'm well, I'm working to heal others and I have a perfectly wonderful part time flexible job that pays beans but gives me immense joy and a feeling of accomplishment.


Irene, another thing that I had to do was sever all bonds with my family.  I know that sounds harsh and I'm not recommending this to you.  But, in my case, I had exhausted every possible attempt to have a relationship with my family.  I grew up in a well, let's just say, very difficult family.  They were a very large source of misery for me most of my life and my husband was just an extension of that toxic relationship.  I do not judge my family other than to know that being in their presence harms me by preventing me from loving myself.  Once you can recognize your own Divine nature and realize that it's completely independent of anyone else, including your family, you will feel so liberated and your mind and heart will open to all good things.

Lizzie